Posts Tagged ‘Under the Influence’


 

March 9, 2010

 

What is Your Prior Experience?

Posted March 09 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+3 VOTES
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March 7, 2010

 

Best New Business Model of 2008. . .

Posted March 07 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

I am a 26 year old male.  Lookiong for a part time job as a drinking companion.     I would be perfect to drink with an enderly person or just someone who does not wnat to go to the bar alone.  I am charging $15/hour plus expenses.  E-mail me if you are interested.  Cheers,

+41 VOTES
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March 5, 2010

 

Interview Insanity. . .

Posted March 05 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , , , , , ,

According to several sites on the net (i.e., possibly apocryphal) personnel executives of 100 major American corporations were asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants:

  • Said he was so well qualified [that] if he didn’t get the job, it would prove that the company’s management was incompetent.
  • Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.
  • Brought her large dog to the interview.
  • Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles.
  • Candidate kept giggling through serious interview.
  • She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to the music and me at the same time.
  • Balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece.
  • Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle.
  • Asked to see interviewer’s resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate.
  • Announced she hadn’t had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and French fries in the interviewer’s office.
  • Without saying a word, candidate stood up and walked out during the middle of the interview.
  • Man wore jogging suit to interview for position as financial vice president.
  • Said if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.
  • Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions.
  • Wouldn’t get out of the chair until I would hire him. I had to call the police.
  • When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office.
  • Had a little pinball game and challenged me to play with him.
  • Bounced up and down on my carpet and told me I must be highly thought of by the company because I was given such a thick carpet.
  • Took a brush out of my purse, brushed his hair and left.
  • Pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him.
  • Candidate asked me if I would put on a suit jacket to insure that the offer was formal.
  • Said he wasn’t interested because the position paid too much.
  • While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold.
  • During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate’s briefcase. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview.
  • A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: “Which company? When do I start? What’s the salary?” I said, “I assume you’re not interested in conducting the interview any further.” He promptly responded, “I am as long as you’ll pay me more.” I didn’t hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer.
  • An applicant came in wearing only one shoe. She explained that the other shoe was stolen off her foot in the bus.
  • His attache [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled, revealing ladies’ undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume.
  • He came to the interview with a moped and left it in the reception area. He didn’t want it to get stolen, and stated that he would require indoor parking for the moped.
  • He took off his right shoe and sock, opened a medicated foot powder and dusted it on the foot and in the shoe. While he was putting back the shoe and sock, he mentioned that he had to use the powder four times a day, and this was the time.
  • Candidate said he really didn’t want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one.
  • He whistled when the interviewer was talking.
  • Asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number. I called security.
  • She threw up on my desk, and immediately started asking questions about the job, like nothing had happened.
  • Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk.
  • Asked if I wanted some cocaine before starting the interview.
+586 VOTES
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March 2, 2010

 

Hope You Don’t Need a Reference!

Posted March 02 by Hiring Manager K.L.
Tags:, , , ,

This is an email from someone who quit a company, written to the remaining employees of the business.
Farewell
From Dump.com

+11 VOTES
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February 22, 2010

 

Crazy You Are.

Posted February 22 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+26 VOTES
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February 11, 2010

 

Mr. Yuk Serves It Up. . .

Posted February 11 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

+19 VOTES
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January 26, 2010

 

Aggressive Alex

Posted January 26 by Hiring Manager J.G.
Tags:, , , ,

Aggressive Alex

+1 VOTES
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January 23, 2010

 

Dopey Video. . .

Posted January 23 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , ,

+17 VOTES
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January 22, 2010

 

You Paid 50 Dollars to Post This?

Posted January 22 by Hiring Manager J.G.
Tags:, , ,

You Paid 50 Dollars to Post This?

+1 VOTES
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January 2, 2010

 

Are Lightsabers Included?

Posted January 02 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+102 VOTES
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December 20, 2009

 

Highly Original Business Model. . .

Posted December 20 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, , ,

new_addictions.gif

+7 VOTES
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Potty Mouth. . .

Posted December 20 by Hiring Manager J.
Tags:, , ,

bullshit.gif

+23 VOTES
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December 13, 2009

 

My Acid Just Kicked In. . .

Posted December 13 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , , , , ,

+16 VOTES
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December 4, 2009

 

All References Great and Small. . .

Posted December 04 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, , , ,

Click on the thumbnail to enjoy the strangest formatting of any reference we have seen:

schizo_reference.gif

+25 VOTES
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November 24, 2009

 

Dr. Me

Posted November 24 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , , , ,

+21 VOTES
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November 18, 2009

 

I Can Has Job?

Posted November 18 by Hiring Manager J.G.
Tags:, , , , , , ,

I Can Has Job?

+1 VOTES
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November 16, 2009

 

High-Caliber Applicant. . .

Posted November 16 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

This came straight out of a fax machine (minus our anonymizing) at a Fortune 500 company:

going_postal.gif


+52 VOTES
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Yoda’s Day Job. . .

Posted November 16 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

gemologist12.gif

+15 VOTES
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November 15, 2009

 

Phenomenon.

Posted November 15 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , ,

+15 VOTES
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November 6, 2009

 

Hair of the Job That Bit You?

Posted November 06 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

i\'m looking to work my way back to being a bartender as i just completed a short stint in rehab.

+14 VOTES
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November 2, 2009

 

You Do Get a Lot for Your Money. . .

Posted November 02 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

5_5_220lbs1.gif

+59 VOTES
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October 30, 2009

 

We Loev Compliments!

Posted October 30 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

The resulting script may be shit, but will you feel great about yourself while writing it:

lieks_compliments.gif

+4 VOTES
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October 27, 2009

 

We Don’t Mind an Idiot, But We Object to a Cut-Rate One

Posted October 27 by Hiring Manager D.R.
Tags:, , , , ,

styx

0 VOTES
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October 19, 2009

 

Unfortunately, Our Multiverse Branch Isn’t Hiring. . .

Posted October 19 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

+11 VOTES
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October 17, 2009

 

Maybe Check Where You Last Saw It?

Posted October 17 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

From an applicant’s introduction:

High Graduate Looking for Office Work

+18 VOTES
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Posted on Wednesday. . .

Posted October 17 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+27 VOTES
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October 8, 2009

 

You Could Co-Star in “Leaving Louisiana” (User Submission!)

Posted October 08 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

NotHired user Greg directed us to this Craigslist posting:

+65 VOTES
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September 28, 2009

 

Dream On

Posted September 28 by Hiring Manager J.G.
Tags:, , , ,

Dream On
Submitted by Andrea B.

+5 VOTES
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September 16, 2009

 

Better Than Being a Mushroom Listener. . .

Posted September 16 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

+9 VOTES
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August 26, 2009

 

A Fresh New Design Sensibility. . .

Posted August 26 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

mushroom_artist.gif

[and from their MySpace "art" page. . .]

mushroom_artist_1.jpg

+124 VOTES
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August 19, 2009

 

We Would Require a Drug Test.

Posted August 19 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+13 VOTES
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