Posts Tagged ‘Under the Influence’


 

May 16, 2008

 

Unfortunately, Our Multiverse Branch Isn’t Hiring. . .

Posted May 16 by Hiring Manager K.
Filed Under: , ,

+3 VOTES
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May 12, 2008

 

Better Than Being a Mushroom Listener. . .

Posted May 12 by Hiring Manager D.
Filed Under: ,

+4 VOTES
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May 2, 2008

 

Best New Business Model of 2008. . .

Posted May 02 by Hiring Manager D.
Filed Under: , , ,

I am a 26 year old male.  Lookiong for a part time job as a drinking companion.     I would be perfect to drink with an enderly person or just someone who does not wnat to go to the bar alone.  I am charging $15/hour plus expenses.  E-mail me if you are interested.  Cheers,

+37 VOTES
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April 22, 2008

 

Hair of the Job That Bit You?

Posted April 22 by Hiring Manager D.
Filed Under: , ,

i\'m looking to work my way back to being a bartender as i just completed a short stint in rehab.

+7 VOTES
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April 15, 2008

 

Dr. Me

Posted April 15 by Hiring Manager D.
Filed Under: , , , , , ,

+13 VOTES
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April 9, 2008

 

Mr. Yuk Serves It Up. . .

Posted April 09 by Hiring Manager D.
Filed Under: ,

+6 VOTES
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April 4, 2008

 

Posted on Wednesday. . .

Posted April 04 by Hiring Manager D.
Filed Under: , ,

+21 VOTES
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March 26, 2008

 

Interview Insanity. . .

Posted March 26 by Hiring Manager D.
Filed Under: , , , , , , , ,

According to several sites on the net (i.e., possibly apocryphal) personnel executives of 100 major American corporations were asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants:

  • Said he was so well qualified [that] if he didn’t get the job, it would prove that the company’s management was incompetent.
  • Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.
  • Brought her large dog to the interview.
  • Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles.
  • Candidate kept giggling through serious interview.
  • She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to the music and me at the same time.
  • Balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece.
  • Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle.
  • Asked to see interviewer’s resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate.
  • Announced she hadn’t had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and French fries in the interviewer’s office.
  • Without saying a word, candidate stood up and walked out during the middle of the interview.
  • Man wore jogging suit to interview for position as financial vice president.
  • Said if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.
  • Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions.
  • Wouldn’t get out of the chair until I would hire him. I had to call the police.
  • When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office.
  • Had a little pinball game and challenged me to play with him.
  • Bounced up and down on my carpet and told me I must be highly thought of by the company because I was given such a thick carpet.
  • Took a brush out of my purse, brushed his hair and left.
  • Pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him.
  • Candidate asked me if I would put on a suit jacket to insure that the offer was formal.
  • Said he wasn’t interested because the position paid too much.
  • While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold.
  • During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate’s briefcase. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview.
  • A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: “Which company? When do I start? What’s the salary?” I said, “I assume you’re not interested in conducting the interview any further.” He promptly responded, “I am as long as you’ll pay me more.” I didn’t hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer.
  • An applicant came in wearing only one shoe. She explained that the other shoe was stolen off her foot in the bus.
  • His attache [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled, revealing ladies’ undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume.
  • He came to the interview with a moped and left it in the reception area. He didn’t want it to get stolen, and stated that he would require indoor parking for the moped.
  • He took off his right shoe and sock, opened a medicated foot powder and dusted it on the foot and in the shoe. While he was putting back the shoe and sock, he mentioned that he had to use the powder four times a day, and this was the time.
  • Candidate said he really didn’t want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one.
  • He whistled when the interviewer was talking.
  • Asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number. I called security.
  • She threw up on my desk, and immediately started asking questions about the job, like nothing had happened.
  • Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk.
  • Asked if I wanted some cocaine before starting the interview.
+300 VOTES
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March 24, 2008

 

A Fresh New Design Sensibility. . .

Posted March 24 by Hiring Manager D.
Filed Under: ,

mushroom_artist.gif

[and from their MySpace "art" page. . .]

mushroom_artist_1.jpg

+62 VOTES
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March 19, 2008

 

Your Next Taxi Driver. . .

Posted March 19 by Hiring Manager K.
Filed Under: , ,

road_warriork.gif

+15 VOTES
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March 14, 2008

 

Yoda’s Day Job. . .

Posted March 14 by Hiring Manager D.
Filed Under: , ,

gemologist12.gif

+11 VOTES
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March 12, 2008

 

Maybe Check Where You Last Saw It?

Posted March 12 by Hiring Manager D.
Filed Under: , , ,

From an applicant’s introduction:

High Graduate Looking for Office Work

+10 VOTES
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March 11, 2008

 

Potty Mouth. . .

Posted March 11 by Hiring Manager J.
Filed Under: , , ,

bullshit.gif

+14 VOTES
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March 7, 2008

 

Highly Original Business Model. . .

Posted March 07 by Hiring Manager K.
Filed Under: , , ,

new_addictions.gif

+6 VOTES
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March 5, 2008

 

You Do Get a Lot for Your Money. . .

Posted March 05 by Hiring Manager K.
Filed Under: , ,

5_5_220lbs1.gif

+30 VOTES
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March 4, 2008

 

High-Caliber Applicant. . .

Posted March 04 by Hiring Manager D.
Filed Under: , , ,

This came straight out of a fax machine (minus our anonymizing) at a Fortune 500 company:

going_postal.gif


+24 VOTES
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February 26, 2008

 

We Loev Compliments!

Posted February 26 by Hiring Manager K.
Filed Under: , ,

The resulting script may be shit, but will you feel great about yourself while writing it:

lieks_compliments.gif

+3 VOTES
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February 23, 2008

 

All References Great and Small. . .

Posted February 23 by Hiring Manager K.
Filed Under: , , , ,

Click on the thumbnail to enjoy the strangest formatting of any reference we have seen:

schizo_reference.gif

+9 VOTES
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