Archive for the ‘Total Freakshows’ Category


 

March 10, 2010

 

Submission by Not Hired User, ChairmanMeow

Posted March 10 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

Not Hired user, ChairmanMeow, reports that the following was submitted to a design firm by a candidate seeking an internship as a graphic designer:

+25 VOTES
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March 5, 2010

 

Mmmmmmm. . .

Posted March 05 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+30 VOTES
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March 2, 2010

 

How Soon Can You Stop?

Posted March 02 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

done-too-much.gif

+17 VOTES
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February 27, 2010

 

Good Question. . .

Posted February 27 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

shipping_haters.gif

+15 VOTES
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February 25, 2010

 

On Something, Down Under. . .

Posted February 25 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

+183 VOTES
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February 24, 2010

 

Mr. Peepers Is not a Qualified Reference. . .

Posted February 24 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

cool_cat.gif

+22 VOTES
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February 23, 2010

 

We Can’t Afford to De-Worm You.

Posted February 23 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , , , , ,

+7 VOTES
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February 20, 2010

 

Father Hood. . .

Posted February 20 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , ,

+25 VOTES
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February 19, 2010

 

You’re Hired, Comrade!

Posted February 19 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , ,

+30 VOTES
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February 17, 2010

 

Color Us Confused. Very Confused.

Posted February 17 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , ,

I AM AN ASPIRING MALE MODEL. I AM THE ORIGINATOR OF THE ORANGE COLOR LOOK, AND THE EYE SIDE WAYS LOOK. HOW I AM THE ORIGINATOR I HAVE NO IDEA, AND I AM PROBABLY ONE IN THOUSANDS TO CLAIM TO BE, ALL I KNOW IS THAT IF I AM USED IN PRINT MEDIO MODELING, IT WILL BE UNDERSTOOD THAT I AM THE ORIGINATOR, BUT THERE WILL BE NOW QUESTIONS OR ANSWERING ABOUT IT, JUST MY MODELING PICS WILL BE SELF EXPAINATORY. I NEED SOME ASSISTANCE THOUGH, LIKE SOME MINOR PLASTIC SUGUREY, A PERSONAL TRAINER, A PUBLICIST AND A VERY STRONG, STRONG AGENT. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO MEET PLEASE DO NOT CALL, OR EMAIL ME. JUST LIVE A FAX NUMBER AND I WILL CONTACT YOU. EVEN IF YOU ARE A SMALL TIME AGENT, OR VERY EXPERIENCED, THIS COULD BE A HUGE CASH FLOW POTENTIAL IF DONE RIGHT, WITH INTEGRITY AND OF THE HIGHEST ETHICAL STANDARDS. SO SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY. THANKS AND I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.

+27 VOTES
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February 8, 2010

 

Lasses Seeking Lassies. . .

Posted February 08 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

animal_jobk.gif

+14 VOTES
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February 4, 2010

 

Wait, You Expect To Be Paid?

Posted February 04 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , , ,

+126 VOTES
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January 31, 2010

 

Creepy Input ⇒ Creepy Output

Posted January 31 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+11 VOTES
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January 26, 2010

 

Aggressive Alex

Posted January 26 by Hiring Manager J.G.
Tags:, , , ,

Aggressive Alex

+1 VOTES
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January 23, 2010

 

Dopey Video. . .

Posted January 23 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , ,

+17 VOTES
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January 9, 2010

 

A Little Too Much Maybe? (User Submission!)

Posted January 09 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

NotHired user HRGeneral sent us this application that a candidate submitted:

+19 VOTES
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January 7, 2010

 

You’ll Need To Trust Us: You Suck.

Posted January 07 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, , , ,

+27 VOTES
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January 5, 2010

 

We Can’t Hit Delete Fast Enough. (User Submission!)

Posted January 05 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

A friend of ours who is trying to hire a computer programmer on Craigslist, received this unsolicited email yesterday:

+27 VOTES
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December 28, 2009

 

Next.

Posted December 28 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

“I’m a young, witty and independent woman looking to get a full time job that requires me to think, and challenge myself, while at the same time being laid back, and able to joke around.Once I’m comfortable in my surroundings, I can be quite the smart mouth, but I’m never mean, just playful.”

+32 VOTES
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December 23, 2009

 

Let’s All Enjoy Aleksey Vayner Again. . .

Posted December 23 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , , , , , ,

A golden oldie to perk up the start of your week.  This is a video resume submitted by a Yale student to an investment bank in NYC.  Please enjoy:

+26 VOTES
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December 14, 2009

 

Can We Pay You With Catnip?

Posted December 14 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+71 VOTES
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December 13, 2009

 

My Acid Just Kicked In. . .

Posted December 13 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , , , , ,

+16 VOTES
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December 12, 2009

 

Old Yeller. . .

Posted December 12 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

QUIT SHOUTING AT US!

old_yeller.gif

+16 VOTES
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December 8, 2009

 

Bring the Annoyance!

Posted December 08 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

Come on companys!! I have the flavor that everyone in the shop loves to be a round!! FLAVOR FLAV!!!!

+21 VOTES
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November 30, 2009

 

If You Like the Taste of Spit. . .

Posted November 30 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+12 VOTES
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November 28, 2009

 

Heaven Help Us. . . (User Submission!)

Posted November 28 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , , ,

“Anonymous” Not Hired user reports:

While working for one of the largest universities in Missouri, I came across this gem. We decided not to hire this gentleman because his resume was a bit. . . Oh, how can i put this? Verbose is a nice way to put it, I guess.
I even went so far as to call this applicant to discuss “improving” his resume and he was offended that I thought it needed help.

Click to enlarge:

+31 VOTES
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November 22, 2009

 

We Suggest Looking for a New Job.

Posted November 22 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+29 VOTES
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November 19, 2009

 

Mother Lover

Posted November 19 by Hiring Manager J.G.
Tags:, , , , , ,

Mother Lover

0 VOTES
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November 18, 2009

 

I Can Has Job?

Posted November 18 by Hiring Manager J.G.
Tags:, , , , , , ,

I Can Has Job?

+1 VOTES
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November 16, 2009

 

High-Caliber Applicant. . .

Posted November 16 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

This came straight out of a fax machine (minus our anonymizing) at a Fortune 500 company:

going_postal.gif


+52 VOTES
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November 15, 2009

 

The Dangers of Revolving Credit.

Posted November 15 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

h1_visa_card.gif

+30 VOTES
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November 13, 2009

 

This One Gets the Fish-Eye. . .

Posted November 13 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

+20 VOTES
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November 11, 2009

 

It Doesn’t Get Any Better Than This. . .

Posted November 11 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , , , ,

+64 VOTES
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November 4, 2009

 

Submitted by a Not Hired User!

Posted November 04 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

A Not Hired user, who wishes to remain anonymous, tells us that her office was hiring for an instructional assistant to work in the campus computer lab, at a community college. . .

“The job description included the following requirements: 

  • Set up and maintain specialized computer equipment and software.
  • Perform some technical duties related to computer functions and operations.
  • Provide assistance to student users of computers.
  • Train students in the use of specialized software applications.

An applicant called our office requesting that we mail her an application for this position. We told her that an application could be downloaded from the college’s website.

She replied that she could not download the application because she did not use computers.”

+64 VOTES
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Dr. Phil meets John Fitzgerald. . .

Posted November 04 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , , , , , , ,

John Fitzgerald Page is famous for his retarded resume and dating drama.  We love him dearly.

Here he is on Dr. Phil:

+19 VOTES
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October 27, 2009

 

Your Next Social Committee Head.

Posted October 27 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+73 VOTES
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October 25, 2009

 

You Poor Sweet Sensitive Soul. . .

Posted October 25 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , , , , , , ,

+16 VOTES
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October 24, 2009

 

Posted October 24 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , ,

+19 VOTES
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October 23, 2009

 

Kenny G Really Let Himself Go . . .

Posted October 23 by Hiring Manager J.G.
Tags:, , ,

The Perfect Pair!

0 VOTES
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October 21, 2009

 

When NOT to Leave Your Resume Behind . .

Posted October 21 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , , ,

+11 VOTES
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October 20, 2009

 

We Still Love to Hate. . .

Posted October 20 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , ,

Someone just reminded us about this classic cewebrity:

Visit Gawker to get a full sense of how John became Internet-famous.

+7 VOTES
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October 8, 2009

 

You Could Co-Star in “Leaving Louisiana” (User Submission!)

Posted October 08 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

NotHired user Greg directed us to this Craigslist posting:

+65 VOTES
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September 25, 2009

 

The Stupidest Job Seeker Ever?

Posted September 25 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+283 VOTES
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September 24, 2009

 

Sandy Crotch. . .

Posted September 24 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , , , , , , ,

+60 VOTES
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September 16, 2009

 

Yet Another WTF. . .

Posted September 16 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , , ,

Schizoid bartender seeks job.

+17 VOTES
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September 13, 2009

 

Your Next Administrative Assistant…

Posted September 13 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

hold_there_horses.gif

+57 VOTES
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August 30, 2009

 

The Joy of a Hard Day’s Work

Posted August 30 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

nude_houseboy4.gif

+95 VOTES
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August 26, 2009

 

A Fresh New Design Sensibility. . .

Posted August 26 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

mushroom_artist.gif

[and from their MySpace "art" page. . .]

mushroom_artist_1.jpg

+124 VOTES
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August 15, 2009

 

It’s a Fact: Colon-Heads Sell Product!

Posted August 15 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+10 VOTES
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July 17, 2009

 

Your Next CFO. . .

Posted July 17 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, , , ,

For great justice, click on the image to view full-size. . .

prison_debbie.gif

+86 VOTES
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July 14, 2009

 

Vanilla Ice Is Back!

Posted July 14 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

[Cover letter hint: Stay away from racist poetry.]

+58 VOTES
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