Archive for the ‘Resumes’ Category


 

March 4, 2010

 

Most Inane Resume Item Ever. . .

Posted March 04 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , , ,

+37 VOTES
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February 28, 2010

 

We’d Prefer a Caramel Frappuccino, Please.

Posted February 28 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , ,

+47 VOTES
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February 27, 2010

 

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Posted February 27 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+13 VOTES
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Next Episode of “Dirty Jobs.”

Posted February 27 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+13 VOTES
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February 25, 2010

 

More Showing, Less Telling. . .

Posted February 25 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

oral_communicative.gif

+11 VOTES
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February 23, 2010

 

Get to Know OSHA Form 300. . .

Posted February 23 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

“Although I cannot legally drive a vehicle at this time I am happy to try.”

+57 VOTES
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Why Your Resume Annoys Employers.

Posted February 23 by HiringManagerL
Tags:

According to CNN.com and CareerBuilder.com, These are 10 things your résumé could do without:

+7 VOTES
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February 21, 2010

 

This One Stands on its Own. . .

Posted February 21 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , ,

boss_tool.gif

+77 VOTES
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February 16, 2010

 

Impressive, if You’re a Parrot.

Posted February 16 by Hiring Manager J.G.
Tags:, ,

Parrot

+1 VOTES
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February 14, 2010

 

Paging Dr. Pulitzer. . .

Posted February 14 by Elaine Benes
Tags:,

What a nose for news:

tsunami_reporter.gif

+7 VOTES
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February 13, 2010

 

Seventh Grade Much?

Posted February 13 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

+8 VOTES
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That’s One Way of Taking Care of Them.

Posted February 13 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+7 VOTES
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February 12, 2010

 

Missing a Tool. . .

Posted February 12 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

*14+ yrs working with cars *most experience working in drag *ground up builds/maintenance/repair

+14 VOTES
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The Little Cash Register That Could. . .

Posted February 12 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+11 VOTES
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February 10, 2010

 

Chutzpah, Meet the Millennials.

Posted February 10 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

+6 VOTES
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February 9, 2010

 

You’re Not Hired or You Can’t Work Here.

Posted February 09 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+10 VOTES
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February 7, 2010

 

Dream Job. . .

Posted February 07 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

+14 VOTES
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February 6, 2010

 

Unsexy Typo. . .

Posted February 06 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

We argued whether to share this one; bad taste ruled the day:

rape_review.gif

+38 VOTES
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February 5, 2010

 

Rhymes with Clunker. . .

Posted February 05 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

big_thunker.gif

+18 VOTES
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A Bit Odd. . .

Posted February 05 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

This is the somewhat strange and unsourced “Sample Customer Feedback” section found in the middle of a computer engineer’s resume, right between “Summary of Qualifications” and “Technical Skills.”

We should note that the “Peter” mentioned is the engineer himself, and not an actual customer.

+11 VOTES
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January 28, 2010

 

No Beating around the Bush! (User Submission!)

Posted January 28 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

From Not Hired user, Margaret:

The candidate was applying to be a receptionist at a veterinary hospital.  At the bottom of her resume, she said “I really enjoy working around the pubic.”

+14 VOTES
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January 27, 2010

 

We Recommend Proofreading.

Posted January 27 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+3 VOTES
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January 23, 2010

 

Your Next Informer. . .

Posted January 23 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+8 VOTES
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January 14, 2010

 

Max Weber, Can We Get Some Help Here?

Posted January 14 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

[Max Weber reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethnic_group#Defining_ethnicity]

+20 VOTES
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January 10, 2010

 

She Gives a Great Claw Job. . .

Posted January 10 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , ,

+19 VOTES
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January 9, 2010

 

Why So Self-Deprecating?

Posted January 09 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+8 VOTES
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January 3, 2010

 

Mastery. . . (User Submission!)

Posted January 03 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

An anonymous Not Hired user was hiring for a library position at a well-known university and received this utterly abstruse resume from a candidate with a Master’s degree in Communication:

[click to enlarge image]

+36 VOTES
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January 2, 2010

 

Tourette’s Syndrome?

Posted January 02 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+29 VOTES
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December 28, 2009

 

And 20% Was Sleeping. . .

Posted December 28 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

coolngk.gif

+7 VOTES
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December 21, 2009

 

The Most Specialized Graphic Designer Ever. . .

Posted December 21 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:

car_wash_graphic_designer.gif

+18 VOTES
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December 17, 2009

 

Okay, Good To Know!

Posted December 17 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+17 VOTES
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December 16, 2009

 

She Has an Ear for Detail. . .

Posted December 16 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

phone_costumer.gif

+13 VOTES
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December 13, 2009

 

There Are No Words. . .

Posted December 13 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+83 VOTES
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December 12, 2009

 

Overqualified Candidate.

Posted December 12 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+41 VOTES
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December 11, 2009

 

A Little Too Honest

Posted December 11 by Hiring Manager J.G.
Tags:, , , , , , , ,

A Little Too Honest

+2 VOTES
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December 5, 2009

 

Simply Divine. . .

Posted December 05 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:

Qualification Summary:  Experienced truck driver with over 10 years experience in delivering home gods (Furniture) throughout the United States. Strong ability to learn and use new computer technologies to improve delivery scheduling and tracking. Wide knowledge of vehicle maintenance and operation. Accurate sense of direction and comprehensive visual memory. Worked even up to 6 days a week 12 hours a day. Very quick learner, good work habits, good communication skills

+5 VOTES
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December 3, 2009

 

Your Proofreader Makes a Good Point.

Posted December 03 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+7 VOTES
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November 23, 2009

 

Time Traveler. . .

Posted November 23 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:,

time_traveler.gif

+19 VOTES
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Time Traveler, or Barista?

Posted November 23 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , , ,

Uh oh. . .

+73 VOTES
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November 21, 2009

 

Understandable Mistake. It Was Only Your Job. . . (User Submission!)

Posted November 21 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+10 VOTES
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November 18, 2009

 

Now That’s Just Dirty.

Posted November 18 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , ,

+9 VOTES
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November 15, 2009

 

Phenomenon.

Posted November 15 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , ,

+15 VOTES
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November 14, 2009

 

Great Anger Management Skills!

Posted November 14 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:

unscheduled_outrages.gif

+15 VOTES
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Hard Work. . .

Posted November 14 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

arouse_k.gif

+16 VOTES
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November 13, 2009

 

Another Version of Ass-Pennies?

Posted November 13 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+17 VOTES
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November 9, 2009

 

Wow.

Posted November 09 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , , , ,

+209 VOTES
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November 8, 2009

 

Very Articulate.

Posted November 08 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+4 VOTES
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November 5, 2009

 

Well, Maybe not Physically. . .

Posted November 05 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , , , , , ,

Summary of Qualifications:  -Owns lots of guns  -Had a girlfriend  -Security System  -Lots of training  -Willing to travel  -In good shape (well, I\'m not handicap or anything)

+34 VOTES
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November 3, 2009

 

The Fall Guy. . .

Posted November 03 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

liablek.gif

+13 VOTES
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November 2, 2009

 

Both Drawers Emptied.

Posted November 02 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+14 VOTES
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November 1, 2009

 

Uh, We Have a Few Questions About Your Resume. . .

Posted November 01 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+24 VOTES
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October 31, 2009

 

Oh No, You Didn’t!

Posted October 31 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, , ,

march_of_dims.gif

+19 VOTES
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Video: Phoebe Tunes Joey’s Resume

Posted October 31 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

+17 VOTES
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Impressive Babbling. . .

Posted October 31 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

Renaissance Hotel & CC  Concierge July 2006 - Present  Wining the prestige Renaissance reword “ I am the one” as a best emploee  o	Finding various information for the quests needs on a daily bases  o	Having and maintaining contact with the surrounding venues  o	Making various reservations  o	Maintaining the Elite Member Lounge in all aspects

+8 VOTES
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October 30, 2009

 

Last Job: Purgatory, Inc.

Posted October 30 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

Respond to inquiries from vendors and infernal staff regarding project status.

+5 VOTES
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October 29, 2009

 

In Bad Taste. . .

Posted October 29 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

rim_job.gif

+28 VOTES
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October 28, 2009

 

If That is What You Call Amazing, I Must Look Like Stephen Hawking

Posted October 28 by Hiring Manager J.G.
Tags:, , , ,

sit and stand

+3 VOTES
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But Does He Recycle?

Posted October 28 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:,

destroy1.gif

+36 VOTES
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October 26, 2009

 

Your Next Recruiter. . .

Posted October 26 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , , ,

+69 VOTES
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October 22, 2009

 

Worst Brand Extension Ever!

Posted October 22 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

starbucks_seafood.gif

+14 VOTES
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October 11, 2009

 

If You Like Content, Stop Here!

Posted October 11 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

business_prattle.gif

+64 VOTES
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October 9, 2009

 

Do You Have Any Experience as a Tugboat?

Posted October 09 by Hiring Manager J.G.
Tags:, ,

Do You Have Any Experience as a Tugboat?

+1 VOTES
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October 6, 2009

 

Proactively Reactive. . .

Posted October 06 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:

+9 VOTES
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September 23, 2009

 

We Love Clean Cheeks.

Posted September 23 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+8 VOTES
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September 22, 2009

 

House of Pain. . .

Posted September 22 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+8 VOTES
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September 16, 2009

 

Better Than Being a Mushroom Listener. . .

Posted September 16 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

+9 VOTES
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September 14, 2009

 

Awarded the Job-Seeker Medal of. . .

Posted September 14 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:,

honored_with_honors.gif

+5 VOTES
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September 13, 2009

 

Well Spoken.

Posted September 13 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+9 VOTES
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September 4, 2009

 

No Grime of the Ancient. . .

Posted September 04 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

sanitary_mariner.gif

+13 VOTES
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September 3, 2009

 

Sorry, We Are Looking for a First Fatter.

Posted September 03 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+10 VOTES
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August 27, 2009

 

Maybe Try a Matzoh Instead?

Posted August 27 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+6 VOTES
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August 13, 2009

 

The Next William Shawn. . .

Posted August 13 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

profichant_editor.gif

+9 VOTES
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