Archive for the ‘Resumes’ Category


 

September 3, 2010

 

Maybe Try a Matzoh Instead?

Posted September 03 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+6 VOTES
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September 2, 2010

 

Idiot Savant? No, Just Idiot.

Posted September 02 by Hiring Manager J.G.
Tags:,

0 VOTES
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Dream Job. . .

Posted September 02 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

+14 VOTES
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August 12, 2010

 

Oh No, You Didn’t!

Posted August 12 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, , ,

march_of_dims.gif

+19 VOTES
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August 11, 2010

 

More Showing, Less Telling. . .

Posted August 11 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

oral_communicative.gif

+12 VOTES
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August 7, 2010

 

House of Pain. . .

Posted August 07 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+8 VOTES
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August 6, 2010

 

The Little Cash Register That Could. . .

Posted August 06 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+11 VOTES
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July 19, 2010

 

We’d Prefer a Caramel Frappuccino, Please.

Posted July 19 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , ,

+51 VOTES
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July 17, 2010

 

This One Stands on its Own. . .

Posted July 17 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , ,

boss_tool.gif

+81 VOTES
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Your Next Recruiter. . .

Posted July 17 by HiringManagerL
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+74 VOTES
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July 15, 2010

 

Missing a Tool. . .

Posted July 15 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

*14+ yrs working with cars *most experience working in drag *ground up builds/maintenance/repair

+15 VOTES
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July 14, 2010

 

Tonight’s Special: Fluff

Posted July 14 by Hiring Manager J.G.
Tags:,

tonight's special: fluff

0 VOTES
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July 13, 2010

 

Paging Dr. Pulitzer. . .

Posted July 13 by Elaine Benes
Tags:,

What a nose for news:

tsunami_reporter.gif

+7 VOTES
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July 10, 2010

 

Most Inane Resume Item Ever. . .

Posted July 10 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , , ,

+38 VOTES
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July 7, 2010

 

Next Episode of “Dirty Jobs.”

Posted July 07 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+13 VOTES
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July 2, 2010

 

No Beating around the Bush! (User Submission!)

Posted July 02 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

From Not Hired user, Margaret:

The candidate was applying to be a receptionist at a veterinary hospital.  At the bottom of her resume, she said “I really enjoy working around the pubic.”

+14 VOTES
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June 28, 2010

 

Your Next Informer. . .

Posted June 28 by HiringManagerL
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+8 VOTES
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We Recommend Proofreading.

Posted June 28 by HiringManagerL
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+3 VOTES
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June 25, 2010

 

Just Sneak that in There

Posted June 25 by Hiring Manager J.G.
Tags:,

just sneak that in there

+2 VOTES
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Get to Know OSHA Form 300. . .

Posted June 25 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

“Although I cannot legally drive a vehicle at this time I am happy to try.”

+57 VOTES
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Why Your Resume Annoys Employers.

Posted June 25 by HiringManagerL
Tags:

According to CNN.com and CareerBuilder.com, These are 10 things your résumé could do without:

+9 VOTES
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June 23, 2010

 

Overqualified Candidate.

Posted June 23 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+41 VOTES
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June 22, 2010

 

We Love Clean Cheeks.

Posted June 22 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+9 VOTES
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June 21, 2010

 

You Didn’t Learn Much

Posted June 21 by Hiring Manager J.G.

didnt learn much

0 VOTES
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June 20, 2010

 

Chutzpah, Meet the Millennials.

Posted June 20 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

+6 VOTES
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June 19, 2010

 

A Bit Odd. . .

Posted June 19 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

This is the somewhat strange and unsourced “Sample Customer Feedback” section found in the middle of a computer engineer’s resume, right between “Summary of Qualifications” and “Technical Skills.”

We should note that the “Peter” mentioned is the engineer himself, and not an actual customer.

+11 VOTES
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June 17, 2010

 

She Gives a Great Claw Job. . .

Posted June 17 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , ,

+19 VOTES
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June 15, 2010

 

Rhymes with Clunker. . .

Posted June 15 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

big_thunker.gif

+19 VOTES
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June 11, 2010

 

What an Enlightening Statement!

Posted June 11 by Hiring Manager J.G.
Tags:, ,

does this mean we dont need to call your references

+2 VOTES
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Time Traveler. . .

Posted June 11 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:,

time_traveler.gif

+19 VOTES
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June 8, 2010

 

Do You Have Any Experience as a Tugboat?

Posted June 08 by Hiring Manager J.G.
Tags:, ,

Do You Have Any Experience as a Tugboat?

+1 VOTES
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June 5, 2010

 

There Are No Words. . .

Posted June 05 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+85 VOTES
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June 2, 2010

 

Why So Self-Deprecating?

Posted June 02 by HiringManagerL
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+10 VOTES
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May 31, 2010

 

And 20% Was Sleeping. . .

Posted May 31 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

coolngk.gif

+7 VOTES
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May 28, 2010

 

Awarded the Job-Seeker Medal of. . .

Posted May 28 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:,

honored_with_honors.gif

+5 VOTES
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May 25, 2010

 

Impressive Babbling. . .

Posted May 25 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

Renaissance Hotel & CC  Concierge July 2006 - Present  Wining the prestige Renaissance reword “ I am the one” as a best emploee  o	Finding various information for the quests needs on a daily bases  o	Having and maintaining contact with the surrounding venues  o	Making various reservations  o	Maintaining the Elite Member Lounge in all aspects

+8 VOTES
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Uh, We Have a Few Questions About Your Resume. . .

Posted May 25 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+27 VOTES
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May 24, 2010

 

The Most Specialized Graphic Designer Ever. . .

Posted May 24 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:

car_wash_graphic_designer.gif

+18 VOTES
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May 23, 2010

 

Understandable Mistake. It Was Only Your Job. . . (User Submission!)

Posted May 23 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+10 VOTES
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May 22, 2010

 

Another Version of Ass-Pennies?

Posted May 22 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+17 VOTES
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May 20, 2010

 

If That is What You Call Amazing, I Must Look Like Stephen Hawking

Posted May 20 by Hiring Manager J.G.
Tags:, , , ,

sit and stand

+3 VOTES
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May 18, 2010

 

Phenomenon.

Posted May 18 by HiringManagerL
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+15 VOTES
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May 15, 2010

 

The Fall Guy. . .

Posted May 15 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

liablek.gif

+13 VOTES
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Last Job: Purgatory, Inc.

Posted May 15 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

Respond to inquiries from vendors and infernal staff regarding project status.

+6 VOTES
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May 14, 2010

 

Time Traveler, or Barista?

Posted May 14 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , , ,

Uh oh. . .

+73 VOTES
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May 13, 2010

 

Great Anger Management Skills!

Posted May 13 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:

unscheduled_outrages.gif

+15 VOTES
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May 12, 2010

 

Tourette’s Syndrome?

Posted May 12 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+29 VOTES
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May 7, 2010

 

Not So Sure We Trust You With an Important Memo

Posted May 07 by Hiring Manager J.G.
Tags:

type a memo

0 VOTES
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If You Like Content, Stop Here!

Posted May 07 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

business_prattle.gif

+64 VOTES
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May 6, 2010

 

Simply Divine. . .

Posted May 06 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:

Qualification Summary:  Experienced truck driver with over 10 years experience in delivering home gods (Furniture) throughout the United States. Strong ability to learn and use new computer technologies to improve delivery scheduling and tracking. Wide knowledge of vehicle maintenance and operation. Accurate sense of direction and comprehensive visual memory. Worked even up to 6 days a week 12 hours a day. Very quick learner, good work habits, good communication skills

+6 VOTES
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A Little Too Honest

Posted May 06 by Hiring Manager J.G.
Tags:, , , , , , , ,

A Little Too Honest

+3 VOTES
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May 4, 2010

 

She Has an Ear for Detail. . .

Posted May 04 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

phone_costumer.gif

+13 VOTES
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April 30, 2010

 

Better Than Being a Mushroom Listener. . .

Posted April 30 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

+9 VOTES
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April 26, 2010

 

Proactively Reactive. . .

Posted April 26 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:

+9 VOTES
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Okay, Good To Know!

Posted April 26 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+17 VOTES
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April 23, 2010

 

Well, Maybe not Physically. . .

Posted April 23 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , , , , , ,

Summary of Qualifications:  -Owns lots of guns  -Had a girlfriend  -Security System  -Lots of training  -Willing to travel  -In good shape (well, I\'m not handicap or anything)

+34 VOTES
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April 22, 2010

 

Your Proofreader Makes a Good Point.

Posted April 22 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+7 VOTES
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April 19, 2010

 

Sorry, We Are Looking for a First Fatter.

Posted April 19 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+10 VOTES
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April 18, 2010

 

Now That’s Just Dirty.

Posted April 18 by HiringManagerL
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+9 VOTES
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April 13, 2010

 

Wow.

Posted April 13 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , , , ,

+219 VOTES
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April 9, 2010

 

Video: Phoebe Tunes Joey’s Resume

Posted April 09 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

+19 VOTES
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April 7, 2010

 

In Bad Taste. . .

Posted April 07 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

rim_job.gif

+28 VOTES
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March 30, 2010

 

No Grime of the Ancient. . .

Posted March 30 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

sanitary_mariner.gif

+13 VOTES
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Worst Brand Extension Ever!

Posted March 30 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

starbucks_seafood.gif

+14 VOTES
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March 20, 2010

 

Hard Work. . .

Posted March 20 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

arouse_k.gif

+16 VOTES
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February 27, 2010

 

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Posted February 27 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+13 VOTES
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February 16, 2010

 

Impressive, if You’re a Parrot.

Posted February 16 by Hiring Manager J.G.
Tags:, ,

Parrot

+2 VOTES
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February 13, 2010

 

Seventh Grade Much?

Posted February 13 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

+8 VOTES
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That’s One Way of Taking Care of Them.

Posted February 13 by HiringManagerL
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+7 VOTES
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February 9, 2010

 

You’re Not Hired or You Can’t Work Here.

Posted February 09 by HiringManagerL
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+10 VOTES
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February 6, 2010

 

Unsexy Typo. . .

Posted February 06 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

We argued whether to share this one; bad taste ruled the day:

rape_review.gif

+38 VOTES
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January 14, 2010

 

Max Weber, Can We Get Some Help Here?

Posted January 14 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

[Max Weber reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethnic_group#Defining_ethnicity]

+20 VOTES
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January 3, 2010

 

Mastery. . . (User Submission!)

Posted January 03 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

An anonymous Not Hired user was hiring for a library position at a well-known university and received this utterly abstruse resume from a candidate with a Master’s degree in Communication:

[click to enlarge image]

+36 VOTES
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November 8, 2009

 

Very Articulate.

Posted November 08 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+4 VOTES
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November 2, 2009

 

Both Drawers Emptied.

Posted November 02 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+14 VOTES
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October 28, 2009

 

But Does He Recycle?

Posted October 28 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:,

destroy1.gif

+36 VOTES
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September 13, 2009

 

Well Spoken.

Posted September 13 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+9 VOTES
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August 13, 2009

 

The Next William Shawn. . .

Posted August 13 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

profichant_editor.gif

+9 VOTES
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