Archive for the ‘Craigslisters’ Category


 

March 13, 2010

 

Honest.

Posted March 13 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

+4 VOTES
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Are Both of You Applying?

Posted March 13 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+12 VOTES
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Evel Drunk-evel.

Posted March 13 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+15 VOTES
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March 12, 2010

 

Wanted: Royal Screw-Up

Posted March 12 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

+7 VOTES
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March 11, 2010

 

Keep It Stupid, Simple. . .

Posted March 11 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:,

simplek.gif

+50 VOTES
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Shouldn’t ‘Cleaning Our Work Area’ Come Last?

Posted March 11 by Hiring Manager J.G.
Tags:, , , , ,

Shouldn't 'cleaning our work area' come last?

0 VOTES
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March 10, 2010

 

How about Not?

Posted March 10 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , ,

Want to learn Chinese? I could be your best Chinese teacher. I love to dress up when I teach too. How about leather corset and cane? or school girl skirt and ugg boots?

+22 VOTES
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We Are Family. . .

Posted March 10 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+7 VOTES
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March 9, 2010

 

Ultimate lulz. . .

Posted March 09 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

Yup, this came from an AOL address:

craigslist_newbie.gif

+236 VOTES
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His English Teachers Didn’t Mess With Him Either. . .

Posted March 09 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:,

Stop reading now if you don’t care for salty language:

descreet_security1.gif

+17 VOTES
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What Mean Expendable?

Posted March 09 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+22 VOTES
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What is Your Prior Experience?

Posted March 09 by HiringManagerL
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+3 VOTES
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March 8, 2010

 

But, How Are You with PowerPoint?

Posted March 08 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , , ,

+12 VOTES
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March 7, 2010

 

Best New Business Model of 2008. . .

Posted March 07 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

I am a 26 year old male.  Lookiong for a part time job as a drinking companion.     I would be perfect to drink with an enderly person or just someone who does not wnat to go to the bar alone.  I am charging $15/hour plus expenses.  E-mail me if you are interested.  Cheers,

+41 VOTES
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She Eats Cereal Only When Blood Is Not Available. . .

Posted March 07 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , , ,

+7 VOTES
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Starting Off On A Bad Note . . .

Posted March 07 by HiringManagerL
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+7 VOTES
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March 6, 2010

 

Which of the Three of You Is Applying?

Posted March 06 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

+21 VOTES
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March 5, 2010

 

Yum: Sippy Cup Martinis!

Posted March 05 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+7 VOTES
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March 3, 2010

 

Professional Ass Kicker?

Posted March 03 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+46 VOTES
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March 2, 2010

 

John Smith Won’t Be Happy About This.

Posted March 02 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+9 VOTES
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March 1, 2010

 

Neither.

Posted March 01 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , ,

+11 VOTES
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February 26, 2010

 

Quod Erat Demonstrandum. . .

Posted February 26 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, , ,

buddhist_blankout.gif

+36 VOTES
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The Bodyguard 2.

Posted February 26 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+33 VOTES
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February 24, 2010

 

Or Is That a “Wipe-Off?”

Posted February 24 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:

Too Bad Girls Don't Poop

+3 VOTES
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February 23, 2010

 

How Much For the Whole Thing?

Posted February 23 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+9 VOTES
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February 22, 2010

 

Looks Like You Have Already Exceeded Your Knowledge

Posted February 22 by Hiring Manager D.R.
Tags:, , , ,

Look Like You Have Already Exceeded Your Knowledge

+4 VOTES
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Clearly Bad. . .

Posted February 22 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

+17 VOTES
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Crazy You Are.

Posted February 22 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+26 VOTES
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We Love a Business Tanktop. . .

Posted February 22 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+12 VOTES
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February 21, 2010

 

The Whining Monologues.

Posted February 21 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+2 VOTES
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February 20, 2010

 

Curriculum Victualia. . .

Posted February 20 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:

I don’t just talk, I just show what I can do.Looking for a place to work for a  long time.I am making pizza for 28 years. and other good stuff.  [snip] Thank you. Garlic knots-Regular pizza-Siciliana pizza-Meat  lover pizza-Fresh mozzarella pizza-Sundried tomatoe pizza-Chicken  parmigiana pizza-Chicken marsala pizza-Buffalo pizza-bbk pizza-Grilled  vegetable pizza- San gennaro pizza-Lasagna pizza-Eggplant rolentine  pizza-Primavera pizza-Salad pizza-Broccoli rabe pizza-Pesto  pizza-White pizza- Tomatoe onion pizza-Spinach pizza-Special  pizza-Hawaiian pizza-Philly cheese steak pizza-Roni pizza  Mushroom  pizza-Sausage pizza-Meatball pizza-Grandma pizza-Broccoli  pizza-Calamari pizza-Taco pizza-Baked ziti pizza-Pepper onion pizza-  Chicken francese pizza-shrimp scampi pizza-Penne vodka pizza-Pan pizza  deep dish-Whole wheat pizza-Ground beef pizza-Greek pizza-Five cheese  pizza-White broccoli pizza-White spinach pizza-BLT pizza-Spinach  alferdo pizza-Rolls Chicken rolls-Meatball rolls-Roni rolls-Sausage  rolls-eggplant rolls-Broccoli rolls-Spinach rolls-Pizza  rolls-Calzones-Stuff meat pizza-s-Stuff vegetable pizza-Pin  wheels-Tuna melt-Stromboli-Zeppolis

+14 VOTES
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Bloodsport 87.

Posted February 20 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+13 VOTES
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February 18, 2010

 

Waiting for Alice B. Toklas. . .

Posted February 18 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

I am plagued by guys who think they’re clever…..they will come on to me using my name in a sentence as many times as possible. “Hey there, Gertrude, someone around here sure smells good, and it ain’t me, Getrude………Could I get your phone number Gertrude, and take you out for dinner, Gertrude?” Um, no! Customers, as far as I’m concerned, do not have the right to know my name, unless I choose to give it to them. End of story.

[and from the same posting. . .]

I work best when I am comfortable, and this means, for one thing, that I cannot become overheated, which happens if I’m not careful about the type of clothing I wear.

+18 VOTES
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Lack of Resume Does Speak for Itself. . .

Posted February 18 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+5 VOTES
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February 17, 2010

 

All Three of You Can Live on Just $50K?

Posted February 17 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

+19 VOTES
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February 16, 2010

 

You Should Call Yourself No-lingual.

Posted February 16 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+13 VOTES
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February 15, 2010

 

Good with a Hatchet, too!

Posted February 15 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, , ,

axcellentk.gif

+19 VOTES
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February 14, 2010

 

Good To Know, Thanks.

Posted February 14 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , ,

+7 VOTES
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February 11, 2010

 

All Personal Inventory Must Go!

Posted February 11 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:,

metaphysical_manager.gif

+7 VOTES
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February 9, 2010

 

And This Photo Demonstrates What?

Posted February 09 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+11 VOTES
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February 8, 2010

 

Don’t Be Too Hard On Yourself.

Posted February 08 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , , , ,

+10 VOTES
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February 7, 2010

 

Rich Uncle Pennybags. . .

Posted February 07 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

We are more laughing with this guy than at him. Either way, his photo on Craigslist is funny:

+24 VOTES
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February 6, 2010

 

Leonardo Da Creepy. . .

Posted February 06 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

creepy_portraits1.gif

+39 VOTES
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No.

Posted February 06 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+12 VOTES
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February 4, 2010

 

The Direct Approach. . .

Posted February 04 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:

yokel.gif

+9 VOTES
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February 2, 2010

 

Ready to Snake Your Drain. . .

Posted February 02 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+15 VOTES
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Did You Miss Out On Something As a Child?

Posted February 02 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+26 VOTES
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February 1, 2010

 

What if We Doubled Your Salary?

Posted February 01 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+10 VOTES
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That Hardly Covers the Gas. . .

Posted February 01 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+5 VOTES
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January 31, 2010

 

This Candidate Has the Gourds. . .

Posted January 31 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+1 VOTES
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January 29, 2010

 

Definitely a Clown. . .

Posted January 29 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

+18 VOTES
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The Goggles Aren’t Quite Working. . .

Posted January 29 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+11 VOTES
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January 28, 2010

 

The Drugs Do Help!

Posted January 28 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

i am very responsible, dependent, and get along with kids very well

+11 VOTES
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Great! Where Should We Meet?

Posted January 28 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+18 VOTES
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January 27, 2010

 

Completed /= Good

Posted January 27 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, , , ,

+16 VOTES
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January 26, 2010

 

Your Kid’s Next Tutor. . .

Posted January 26 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

i like kids my phone number is: [deleted] pleace truth me i\'ll take care of your child

+8 VOTES
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Who Needs Another Annoying Friend?

Posted January 26 by HiringManagerL
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+5 VOTES
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January 25, 2010

 

Sweet. . .

Posted January 25 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+19 VOTES
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Like a Polaroid Picture!

Posted January 25 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+6 VOTES
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Super Scary Spice.

Posted January 25 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , ,

+48 VOTES
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January 22, 2010

 

You Might Want To Put This Differently. . .

Posted January 22 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, , ,

desire_for_children.gif

+16 VOTES
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The Fluency of Dunces. . .

Posted January 22 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

+20 VOTES
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Your Dream Job. (User Submission!)

Posted January 22 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

A NotHired user directed us to this Craigslist posting:

+11 VOTES
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January 13, 2010

 

Thank You, Dale Carnegie. . .

Posted January 13 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

Resume is below. but you don\'t really need to continue.  You already know I\'m perfect for the job. And if you don\'t  realize this yet. I\'m not interested.

+18 VOTES
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Cue Years of Nightmares about Eyes. . .

Posted January 13 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , ,

Let me create a Wonderland for your child to grow and dream in. Whether a full-fledged-fantasy-world or just a touch of the playful - my style has a naturally whimsical, childhood feel that I can bring to any subject: castles, fairies, space or nature (animals are specialty!)- anything of or out of this world!

+26 VOTES
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Ahhh, the Charm of Him. . .

Posted January 13 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , ,

+5 VOTES
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Management Material.

Posted January 13 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+32 VOTES
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January 11, 2010

 

But, Who Will Pay You for the Murder?

Posted January 11 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+9 VOTES
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January 10, 2010

 

We Want to Hire THAT Guy!

Posted January 10 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

wtf.jpg

+59 VOTES
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We Might Need a Restraining Order.

Posted January 10 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+10 VOTES
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Hope You’re Not an Anatomy Major

Posted January 10 by Hiring Manager J.G.
Tags:,

Hope You're Not an Anatomy Major

+4 VOTES
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January 8, 2010

 

Welcome to SuperCuts!

Posted January 08 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , , ,

looken_hair.gif

+40 VOTES
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5.) You Are a Dufus.

Posted January 08 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , ,

+4 VOTES
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Thanks for the Warning. . .

Posted January 08 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+8 VOTES
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January 7, 2010

 

Nobdy Wil Hir U.

Posted January 07 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , ,

+48 VOTES
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January 6, 2010

 

No One Is Ever Going To Love You.

Posted January 06 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+16 VOTES
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Handy!

Posted January 06 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+24 VOTES
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January 5, 2010

 

A Vapid Star Is Born. . .

Posted January 05 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+16 VOTES
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January 4, 2010

 

Wanna Buy Me Dinner First?

Posted January 04 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+63 VOTES
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January 3, 2010

 

Candid Cameraman.

Posted January 03 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+11 VOTES
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Just What Your Company Needs.

Posted January 03 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+27 VOTES
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January 2, 2010

 

Rejected. Ya feel me?

Posted January 02 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:,

+31 VOTES
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Are Lightsabers Included?

Posted January 02 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+102 VOTES
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January 1, 2010

 

Gollum’s Junk. . .

Posted January 01 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+14 VOTES
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Laugh or Cry? You Decide.

Posted January 01 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+26 VOTES
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December 29, 2009

 

Your Next Boss/Alien Overlord Can’t Spell.

Posted December 29 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , ,

+7 VOTES
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The Beginning To A Wonderful Relationship.

Posted December 29 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+15 VOTES
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December 28, 2009

 

Next Episode of “Punked.”

Posted December 28 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+8 VOTES
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December 27, 2009

 

Haven’t We All Been Here?

Posted December 27 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,


+34 VOTES
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December 26, 2009

 

Best Display of Ineffective Writing. . .

Posted December 26 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:,

Objective
My objective is to perform my best display of effective working using the experience I have, and that you will provide throughout time.

+15 VOTES
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Just Keep Digging. . .

Posted December 26 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , ,

+22 VOTES
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December 25, 2009

 

Yo Ho!

Posted December 25 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+42 VOTES
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December 24, 2009

 

Doc Brown, Is That You?

Posted December 24 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+13 VOTES
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December 22, 2009

 

Web 0.1 Designer. . . (User Submission!)

Posted December 22 by Hiring Manager D.
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This submission, by an anonymous Not Hired user, may not be funny to anyone who doesn’t work on the Internet, but we hire a lot of web designers and this candidate’s “portfolio” and website made us LOL–hard!

and here is his professional website:

Please note that Anonymous found this resume and website posted openly on Craigslist–no privacy expectations are being violated.

+83 VOTES
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Willard for Hire. . .

Posted December 22 by HiringManagerL
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+11 VOTES
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December 21, 2009

 

Mr. Slave for Hire!

Posted December 21 by HiringManagerL
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+6 VOTES
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December 20, 2009

 

Highly Original Business Model. . .

Posted December 20 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, , ,

new_addictions.gif

+7 VOTES
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December 19, 2009

 

Calling All Artists!

Posted December 19 by HiringManagerL
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+3 VOTES
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December 18, 2009

 

Not for the Coulrophobics.

Posted December 18 by HiringManagerL
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+37 VOTES
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December 17, 2009

 

Do You Stuff Humans Too?

Posted December 17 by HiringManagerL
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+8 VOTES
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December 15, 2009

 

Auto Industry, Perhaps?

Posted December 15 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

+5 VOTES