Archive for the ‘Craigslisters’ Category


 

July 3, 2009

 

Good Luck with That.

Posted July 03 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+5 VOTES
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July 2, 2009

 

Clearly Bad. . .

Posted July 02 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

+12 VOTES
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July 1, 2009

 

You Do Get a Lot for Your Money. . .

Posted July 01 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

5_5_220lbs1.gif

+55 VOTES
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June 28, 2009

 

Just Keep Digging. . .

Posted June 28 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , ,

+12 VOTES
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June 27, 2009

 

But, How Are You with PowerPoint?

Posted June 27 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , , ,

+9 VOTES
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June 25, 2009

 

You Might Want To Put This Differently. . .

Posted June 25 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, , ,

desire_for_children.gif

+15 VOTES
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Call HR or Shut Your Door?

Posted June 25 by Hiring Manager D.
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+12 VOTES
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5.) You Are a Dufus.

Posted June 25 by HiringManagerL
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+3 VOTES
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June 24, 2009

 

Just What We’re Looking For.

Posted June 24 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+55 VOTES
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And What are You Applying For?

Posted June 24 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+15 VOTES
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June 23, 2009

 

Dood, Where’s My Bricks?

Posted June 23 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

stoned_work.gif

+11 VOTES
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Thank You, Dale Carnegie. . .

Posted June 23 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

Resume is below. but you don\'t really need to continue.  You already know I\'m perfect for the job. And if you don\'t  realize this yet. I\'m not interested.

+14 VOTES
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Willard for Hire. . .

Posted June 23 by HiringManagerL
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+8 VOTES
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June 22, 2009

 

Dream Big. . .

Posted June 22 by HiringManagerL
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+7 VOTES
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June 20, 2009

 

His English Teachers Didn’t Mess With Him Either. . .

Posted June 20 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:,

Stop reading now if you don’t care for salty language:

descreet_security1.gif

+12 VOTES
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Doc Brown, Is That You?

Posted June 20 by HiringManagerL
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+11 VOTES
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June 19, 2009

 

Hirsuted to the Job. . .

Posted June 19 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

Very hairy and enjoy the gulf and need to always be near the water. Well, at leasat a couple times a month to the beach. I have experience doing just about everything you can imagine from all aspects of grounds keeping to cooking luscious meals to running a bugeted household. I\'m artsy and love people. ideally I would need a position within a gay environment and a room or small apt with a salary. that\'s about it for now. Contact me if you have a position

+7 VOTES
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Not for the Coulrophobics.

Posted June 19 by HiringManagerL
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+22 VOTES
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June 17, 2009

 

Programming Ninjas Wanted

Posted June 17 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:

Looking for a Programmer/ Knife Salesman

+2 VOTES
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Or Is That a “Wipe-Off?”

Posted June 17 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:

Too Bad Girls Don't Poop

+1 VOTES
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If I Only Had a Rebound. . .

Posted June 17 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

Tough Love

+2 VOTES
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June 16, 2009

 

A Fitting Conclusion. . .

Posted June 16 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+8 VOTES
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June 15, 2009

 

Quod Erat Demonstrandum. . .

Posted June 15 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, , ,

buddhist_blankout.gif

+33 VOTES
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June 14, 2009

 

Awww, Poor Little MBA. . .

Posted June 14 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , ,

There is something pretty hilarious about an MBA trying to claim that the system is rigged against him:

+10 VOTES
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Can I Wear Lipstick?

Posted June 14 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+18 VOTES
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June 12, 2009

 

We Not Hiring. . .

Posted June 12 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

+15 VOTES
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June 11, 2009

 

Can’t Stop Giggling at This. No Idea Why. . .

Posted June 11 by Hiring Manager D.
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+6 VOTES
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June 10, 2009

 

The Gripes of Wrath.

Posted June 10 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+11 VOTES
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June 9, 2009

 

Lettuce Show You to the Door. . .

Posted June 09 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+5 VOTES
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Laugh or Cry? You Decide.

Posted June 09 by HiringManagerL
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+26 VOTES
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June 8, 2009

 

Not the Best Way To Job Search. . .

Posted June 08 by HiringManagerL
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+24 VOTES
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June 7, 2009

 

Yum: Sippy Cup Martinis!

Posted June 07 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+6 VOTES
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I’d Gladly Pay You a Hair Band on Tuesday for Some Web Traffic Today

Posted June 07 by Hiring Manager D.
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+7 VOTES
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June 6, 2009

 

Ultimate Salesmanship. . .

Posted June 06 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+22 VOTES
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June 5, 2009

 

Qualified. (NSFW)

Posted June 05 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , , , ,

+20 VOTES
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June 4, 2009

 

And This Photo Demonstrates What?

Posted June 04 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+10 VOTES
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We Are Family. . .

Posted June 04 by HiringManagerL
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+5 VOTES
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June 3, 2009

 

Did We Mention We Hate You?

Posted June 03 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , , ,

+26 VOTES
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May 31, 2009

 

You Failed.

Posted May 31 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:,

+14 VOTES
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John Smith Won’t Be Happy About This.

Posted May 31 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+7 VOTES
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May 28, 2009

 

Haven’t We All Been Here?

Posted May 28 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+28 VOTES
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May 27, 2009

 

Sweet. . .

Posted May 27 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+16 VOTES
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Elmer Gantry Would Drink It!

Posted May 27 by HiringManagerL
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+9 VOTES
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May 24, 2009

 

Good with a Hatchet, too!

Posted May 24 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, , ,

axcellentk.gif

+18 VOTES
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Jeff Spicoli Wants a Job. . .

Posted May 24 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

wave_worker.gif

[bonus NSFW video follows]

 

+11 VOTES
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Worse Santa. . .

Posted May 24 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+9 VOTES
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May 23, 2009

 

She Eats Cereal Only When Blood Is Not Available. . .

Posted May 23 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , , ,

+7 VOTES
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Professional Ass Kicker?

Posted May 23 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+40 VOTES
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May 22, 2009

 

How about Not?

Posted May 22 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , ,

Want to learn Chinese? I could be your best Chinese teacher. I love to dress up when I teach too. How about leather corset and cane? or school girl skirt and ugg boots?

+18 VOTES
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May 21, 2009

 

Who Is?

Posted May 21 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

+11 VOTES
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May 20, 2009

 

Their Dung Smells like Red Bull. . .

Posted May 20 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:,

Nerd Wrangler

+14 VOTES
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May 17, 2009

 

We Here You Are Not a Good Candidate.

Posted May 17 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+16 VOTES
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Just What Your Company Needs.

Posted May 17 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+26 VOTES
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May 16, 2009

 

Posted on Wednesday. . .

Posted May 16 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+23 VOTES
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May 15, 2009

 

“And I Used to Dance on Aircraft Carriers.”

Posted May 15 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

I like to say that I’m like Cher in that I’m “re-inventing” myself.

+9 VOTES
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Don’t We All?

Posted May 15 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+15 VOTES
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Can You Make Yourself Disappear?

Posted May 15 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+3 VOTES
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May 14, 2009

 

You’re Gonna Turn This Town Upside Down!

Posted May 14 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+9 VOTES
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May 12, 2009

 

Faux Pas Hawk. . .

Posted May 12 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , ,

+18 VOTES
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May 11, 2009

 

Wanted: Royal Screw-Up

Posted May 11 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

+7 VOTES
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May 7, 2009

 

Keep It Stupid, Simple. . .

Posted May 07 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:,

simplek.gif

+45 VOTES
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May 6, 2009

 

The Infinitely Qualified Candidate. . .

Posted May 06 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+10 VOTES
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May 5, 2009

 

Neither.

Posted May 05 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , , ,

+11 VOTES
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May 4, 2009

 

Skilled in the Dark Arts. . .

Posted May 04 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

[Since a couple of users asked, we should make it clear that the photo on the left is the original and the one of the right is the "corrected" product.]

+70 VOTES
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Ready to Snake Your Drain. . .

Posted May 04 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+10 VOTES
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How Much For the Whole Thing?

Posted May 04 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+8 VOTES
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May 2, 2009

 

Pure Pathos. . .

Posted May 02 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+19 VOTES
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Aren’t You a Little Bossy for a Slave?

Posted May 02 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , , , ,

+7 VOTES
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May 1, 2009

 

Bo and Luke. . .

Posted May 01 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

waiting to go fishing need some beer money looking for day labor

+8 VOTES
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April 30, 2009

 

Your Next Bachelor Party Needs. . .

Posted April 30 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

Hey there sexy people!!  I have several years dancing experience at SF\'s famous Gold Club.  Upon my enlightenment I have realized that my religion is what is truly important to me.  I would, however still like to practice my Allah-given gift of dancing and pleasing men.  I am hoping to find work at bachelor parties where I can perform wearing my traditional attire.   So, if you are throwing a bachelor party with no alcohol involved, and would like to have a very sexy, talented stripper dance for you without removing any clothing and showing minimal skin - please contact me!  I\'m your girl!!

+26 VOTES
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April 28, 2009

 

This Is What Happens after You Make a Movie Like “Gigli” and Marry Skeletor. . .

Posted April 28 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+10 VOTES
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Do You Provide Life Insurance?

Posted April 28 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+22 VOTES
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April 27, 2009

 

What is Your Prior Experience?

Posted April 27 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+2 VOTES
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Ahhh, the Joys of Transliteration. . .

Posted April 27 by HiringManagerL
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+13 VOTES
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Are They Willing To Work With Pyrotechnics?

Posted April 27 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+7 VOTES
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April 23, 2009

 

We Might Need a Restraining Order.

Posted April 23 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+8 VOTES
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April 22, 2009

 

Web 0.1 Designer. . . (User Submission!)

Posted April 22 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

This submission, by an anonymous Not Hired user, may not be funny to anyone who doesn’t work on the Internet, but we hire a lot of web designers and this candidate’s “portfolio” and website made us LOL–hard!

and here is his professional website:

Please note that Anonymous found this resume and website posted openly on Craigslist–no privacy expectations are being violated.

+76 VOTES
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We’re Sure Your Prejudices Don’t Help. . .

Posted April 22 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+8 VOTES
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April 20, 2009

 

High Yield Investment.

Posted April 20 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+12 VOTES
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April 19, 2009

 

Auto Industry, Perhaps?

Posted April 19 by Hiring Manager K.
Tags:, ,

+5 VOTES
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How Often do You go to the Dentist?

Posted April 19 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , ,

+17 VOTES
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April 16, 2009

 

He Sure Looks Happy!

Posted April 16 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, , , ,

+12 VOTES
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April 15, 2009

 

“Just Shoot Everyone.”

Posted April 15 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+1 VOTES
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April 13, 2009

 

Although, not to Writing a Cover Letter. . .

Posted April 13 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, , ,

+9 VOTES
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A Little Fishy . . .

Posted April 13 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+26 VOTES
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April 11, 2009

 

Hero in a Trash Can.

Posted April 11 by HiringManagerL
Tags:, ,

+14 VOTES
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April 10, 2009

 

Red Red Groovy. . .

Posted April 10 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

+11 VOTES
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April 8, 2009

 

Evel Drunk-evel.

Posted April 08 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+9 VOTES
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April 3, 2009

 

Waiting for Alice B. Toklas. . .

Posted April 03 by Hiring Manager D.
Tags:, ,

I am plagued by guys who think they’re clever…..they will come on to me using my name in a sentence as many times as possible. “Hey there, Gertrude, someone around here sure smells good, and it ain’t me, Getrude………Could I get your phone number Gertrude, and take you out for dinner, Gertrude?” Um, no! Customers, as far as I’m concerned, do not have the right to know my name, unless I choose to give it to them. End of story.

[and from the same posting. . .]

I work best when I am comfortable, and this means, for one thing, that I cannot become overheated, which happens if I’m not careful about the type of clothing I wear.

+16 VOTES
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Handy!

Posted April 03 by HiringManagerL
Tags:,

+16 VOTES
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April 2, 2009

 

Starting Off On A Bad Note . . .

Posted April 02 by HiringManagerL
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+4 VOTES
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March 31, 2009

 

Fresh from the Witness Protection Program. . .

Posted March 31 by HiringManagerL
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+8 VOTES
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March 29, 2009

 

Your Next Boss/Alien Overlord Can’t Spell.

Posted March 29 by Hiring Manager D.
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+7 VOTES
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We Hope Your Wife Didn’t Dress You.

Posted March 29 by HiringManagerL
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+6 VOTES
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March 28, 2009

 

Good Thing the Cops Can’t Access Craigslist!

Posted March 28 by Hiring Manager D.
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+7 VOTES
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March 26, 2009

 

Candid Cameraman.

Posted March 26 by HiringManagerL
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+9 VOTES
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March 25, 2009

 

The Bodyguard 2.

Posted March 25 by HiringManagerL
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+30 VOTES
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March 23, 2009

 

A Vapid Star Is Born. . .

Posted March 23 by Hiring Manager D.
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+14 VOTES
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What Mean Expendable?

Posted March 23 by HiringManagerL
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+18 VOTES
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March 22, 2009

 

And if You Can’t? Bacon?

Posted March 22 by Hiring Manager D.
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+13 VOTES
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March 20, 2009

 

Wanna Buy Me Dinner First?

Posted March 20 by HiringManagerL
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