Not Hired

A few of the all-time sexiest cover-letter excerpts, cut-and-pasted here for your intimate pleasure:

“I am looking for work in the Tri-City Area; my schedule is completely open and I am willing to work anytime. I assure you that I am a good, hard person who loves his co-workers.”

. . .and. . .

“You will notice that I didn’t work for part of 2002 because I was at home dick.”

. . .and. . .

“I worked in front office in Russia but I can be trusted to work in your rear.”

. . .and. . .

“I am planning to become a penile corrections officer.”

. . .and. . .

“I am willing to stay late and get dirty.”

. . .and. . .

“I want to grow in my new fellow team members”